Friday, April 1, 2011

Oh No, Not I...

"I Will long as I know how to love, I know I'll be alive...I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give...I WILL Survive...I WILL SURVIVE. Hey, hey." (Imagine a fantastic disco beat in the background:)

Yes, I know that famous Gloria Gayner song was meant to be an anthem for the jilted, heartbroken females of the world, who are filled with angst and ready to settle the score for the injustice of unrequited love...but last night at 3:45am in the Shoe house, that was the chorus that I kept singing in my head.

I'll reveal a little secret to you...a silly little thing that I've done ever since I was a kid. I imagine (if my life was an award winning motion picture) what songs I would include on the soundtrack. A little crazy, yes, but today the soundtrack of my life would totally include, "I Will Survive".

Our kiddos have been sick on and off for about a month now. It seems like WAAAAAY longer than that, maybe because for the most part of winter they have passed around one thing or another. The past month has included strep, fevers, coughs that are unstoppable (so much so that they end up throwing up) and now we're into a round of the stomach flu. Bless their little hearts...there have been many a disappointment as far as activities go around here. Missed birthday parties, sleep-overs, church activities, basically being quarantined for all of Spring Break, not being able to help Mommy lead praise and worship on Sunday, the list could go on...and on...and on...

I've been working on little sleep, dealing with sick and crabby children, trying to keep up with a toddler...
"Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not I...I Will Survive" Can you see how it fits?

Anyway, it's getting to the point where I'm slightly paranoid that people will start thinking that my husband and I have that syndrome where you say your kids are sick, even though they're not. I know, people don't really think that, but to be honest...I might not believe the situation myself, if it were not for the fact that I'm the one getting up all hours of the night to soothe the crying when the coughing will not stop, and wiping all the runny noses, taking all the unbelievably high temperatures and administering all the doses antibiotics and "that miracle drug" they call Motrin, giving breathing treatments and most fun of all...trying to see that the puke makes it in a bucket, in the toilet, or at least on "the hard floor" (cause it's easier to clean up linolium than the carpet or the couch:)
Now, let me just say, I don't want to make it sound like my husband hasn't been helping, because HE TOTALLY HAS...but he does have to go to work every day, so I try to let him get a good night sleep as much as possible. Not to mention, he misses out on all the "fun" here during the day.

It's more the mental drain of it all...the whining, the fussing, the sitting in the chair with a feverish child pitifully draped over you for hours on end, while trying to keep "the well ones" from bouncing off the walls or killing each other. Don't get me wrong, please. My heart breaks for them when they are so sick and then sick again and again. I sympathize with the agony of it all. And I know that we are truly blessed to not have any children that have serious, chronic illness that require hospitalization and treatments of any kind. Praise the Lord, cause I don't know how I would make it through a situation like that sane. And I wouldn't trade being a stay-at-home mom for the world but it's just that I NEED SPRING and I need it RIGHT NOW. And it would be nice to be able to interact with some friends and family and attend church as the WHOLE Shoe Seven again on a regular basis. Just sayin'...

Anyway, there have been so many times when I'm at the end of my rope and I feel like I'm the worst mom in the world because I've lost my temper with the healthy ones while trying to take good care of the "sick" one(s) and have not a bit of patience left inside me. So many times when I ask God to forgive me for my discontent and frustration for a situation that I know will pass. So many times when I end up crying out to God (sometimes with real tears streaming down my face) to please give me patience and the ability to do the things I need to do as a mom of five young and needy children. It helps to know that He shows His strength and power in my weakness. And boy, have I shown a lot of weakness throughout these past few weeks. I cannot do this on my own but I will not crumble because "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13)."

And it seems that he has given me this silly little blog as a blessing to keep my mind sharp with the distraction of writing. I can't even count the number of witty, yet informative, blog posts that have been bouncing around in my head like that bouncy ball that was once down our drain. Not that I've had time to actually post any of them or even really write them down on paper, but the important part is that they are there, reminding me that I do have half of a brain left. And sometimes that's just what I need to help me through a very hard day. So many more things to post...not a bit of time to do so. I hope to write again soon. Just think of me as that elementary school overseas pen pal:)

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

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